How to Know if You Need Anger Management Counselling
We have all experienced anger, whether at a minor inconvenience or an overpowering fit of rage. Anger is perfectly natural and normal. Anger is a healthy emotion when leveraged in an effective manner, e.g., putting in boundaries with someone who is not respecting your wishes.
Anger can help us work through problems, whether personal or professional.
Anger at injustices can lead to important and much-needed causes being created, such as Black Lives Matter. However, when our anger takes the driving seat, it can cause issues in our lives, affect our relationships, create problems at work, and impact our overall quality of life.
Anger is also an emotional experience that ranges in intensity from mild frustration to rage, fury, and violence. Experiencing extreme bouts of anger can make us feel like we are powerless over it. Anger is accompanied by uncomfortable bodily sensations such as tense muscles, a rise in blood pressure, a racing heartbeat, and pain in the chest area.
Both internal and external events can trigger anger. You can be angry with a specific person (like a friend or manager) or at an incident (like cancelled plans), or you might be mad because you are overwhelmed with worries or stressors. Painful memories of painful past experiences can also trigger anger.
Why is it important to manage our anger?
If left unmanaged, anger can affect our self-worth, create issues, and be a barrier to forging close relationships. When a person is angry, they tend to push others away. They may express hurtful words they regret later, which damages their intimate relationships. Moreover, if you are constantly aggressive and unsure of how to regulate or manage it, it might harm your mental and physical health.
Anger can cause pain in the body, such as stomach aches, headaches, insomnia, and digestive problems. Those who are continuously angry are more vulnerable to heart problems and high blood pressure.
Lastly, being angry with others can affect your personal and public image. Nobody wants to be labelled 'difficult' or 'unpleasant' by their family, romantic partners, friends, and colleagues. People who are overcome with anger report feeling their self-confidence and self-esteem are affected by their outbursts.
What are ways to overcome anger?
There are many ways you can start to manage your anger more effectively, such as:
Become aware of your triggers
Noticing what sparks your anger is the first step to coping with your anger, as you can take action to address your stressors before they get out of hand. Everyone has unique emotional triggers. Examples of common triggers include: Flashbacks of painful memories, actions/words from others that upset us, our goals being blocked (e.g., losing out on a promotion at work), and grief and loss.
Notice your Thoughts
Noticing how you think about specific events, people, or situations is one approach to defusing your anger. It's all too easy to get hooked and caught up in difficult thoughts and let them dominate our actions. A simple way to unhook from the angry thoughts is to notice and name them as they show up by saying 'Here's anger' or 'I'm noticing anger.'
Take a step back
It is almost impossible to deal with any problem in a helpful manner when we are angry. When you notice anger, try to pause and take a step back from the situation before responding. For instance, if a friend cancels plans and you feel frustrated. Put your phone down and go for a walk before responding. When you feel calmer, you will be better equipped to deal with the situation in a more balanced way.
Talk to a loved one
Discussing your feelings with a loved one can help us feel lighter and ease our minds. Be sure to talk to someone compassionate and trustworthy. There are also online groups where you can get support from others struggling with anger.
Practice empathy
Approaching situations with empathy and compassion can often liberate us. When we let our feelings of hurt, rage, and resentment overcome us, it is not healthy for our well-being or the situation.
If someone disappoints us or lets us down by stating how another's behaviour made us feel as well as listening to their side of the story with openness and compassion can decrease our stress and anger and improve our relationships. Reflect on how your frustrations and resentments are impacting your relationships.
Exercise and shake off the anger
Twenty minutes of exercise is incredibly effective at reducing anger as it burns off the excess energy that anger creates in our body and mind. It also keeps our stress and anxiety at bay!
Whether it is a brisk walk, swimming, or running, these activities will relieve your stressors quickly! If you feel anger rising, moving your body by going for a walk can help you manage it.
When to Seek Professional Help
Anger is a universal human emotion. If you are finding your rage is becoming out of control, affecting your relationships, or getting in the way of you living the sort of life you want to lead, you may be on the path to suffering from an anger disorder.
In this instance, it is beneficial to seek anger management therapy if you are being aggressive with others, smashing objects, threatening others, or being fired or arrested due to occurrences linked to your anger.
A therapist can assist you in working through your outbursts and identify any underlying mental health problems that may be influencing your anger. You can overcome your anger by using anger management strategies and other treatments. You can also learn healthier ways to express your anger through therapy.
How should I make the most of my therapy session?
Here are a few tips to help you get the most out of your anger management therapy:
· Keep a journal of triggers for your anger. This information can help your therapist understand your problems more deeply.
· Attend your sessions on a regular basis and participate actively in the sessions.
· Keep the therapy focused by preparing for each session by focusing on a specific topic to discuss.
· Engage with your therapist and be open to trying new things both inside and outside of sessions.
· Tell the therapist how you feel about the sessions, especially if you notice anger towards your therapist.
· Don't be afraid to ask questions if your therapist is talking about something you do not understand or if you're unsure about a particular strategy or exercise.